How does a streak of this magnitude end? In a blaze of glory? On a wonderful night of relaxation and conversation? Nope, it simply evaporates amidst a haze of frustration and finger pointing. Whether you have known us well, or not, you must have known that the streak would not end on a great night. How could it? Being in a positive mood towards life and each other does not bring about the demise of physical intimacy.
What happened? We took a trip, that was longer than average for us, without children and it was fantastic. We rode roller coasters for Christina’s birthday, walked the beach and sat and read books facing the beach. Even connected physically, emotionally and spiritually and the entire trip was a blessing. Somehow just ahead of coming home we both got frustrated and it lasted into the next day. So, we ended the streak as it started, consensually and on a random day chosen merely by chance. C’mon, not like anyone out there actually thought we’d have sex every day until we died right? Did you? Really? That’s a lot of pressure, I am glad you and I did not have a personal conversation about this.
What will we remember more? The way it ended? The way it started? The three last great days? Or, the middle fun and challenging times?
How do we keep the focus positive after such a sudden end? Will this view be attainable in our marriage?
Have we learned anything? Am I still willing to make adjustments for my wife? Is she for me? Who views approaches of the other in the most positive light? Does it matter? If not, why not? What is holding us back?
Does one look upon the other’s strengths or feelings with resentment?
Do I discourage the way she thinks and feels with tactless words and facial expressions? Does she do such to me?
What resentments are we holding onto that we won’t let go? Does she hold her poor memory at her forefront as a crutch in order to avoid trying for me at times? Do I hold my passive nature as a crutch to give up early and avoid trying for her at times? Are there resentments of our own thoughts and anxieties? Or actual resentments of the other person? Yes, even after all these years is this still happening?
After all this time do either of us still have anything to be negative about? Did you know there is more to meeting each other’s needs than just physical or just emotional? If I am being negative how can she safely get me to become aware of it? Encourage me out of it? If she is being negative, same questions of how can I successfully encourage her to become aware and get out of it?
Does this mean our work together is done emotionally? Not a chance. Do we have it all figured out? NO!!!! As we have stated before, sex is not the answer to all life’s connection woes and we may know more than anyone this fact. Sex can cover up a lot of woes as a sort of compulsion or coping mechanism, but there is so much more to the both of us than just sex. I am not done learning about her and Lord willing she is not done learning about me. I am not finished pursuing her and Lord willing she is not finished pursuing me.
I like to imagine we will focus on the days before it ended because they were amazing and positive and worth holding our focus. All that effort was worth it and no one should want that taken away by one day.
What was the final number?
1,242 days in a row.