12 Years

Nathaniel Says…

Christina, my love, it is with a humble heart and grace on my mind that I recall all the time spent. Spent being married, I mean. Long over a quarter of my life spent working within the challenge that is a marriage. A marriage just the two of us, and Anthony, moving onward to adding Elijah and eventually Luca. A marriage of challenge some days, weeks and months, and of ease some days weeks and months. We often scare people away with our openness about life, from hurt feelings, to challenging each other to be better for the other and whatever else we seem to be able to emote that makes it so hard to keep friends. Why is it so flipping hard to keep friends when trying to be happily married? (Jesse and Amy, and Nathan excluded…. Why they’ve stuck with us, sometimes, even I do not understand). We prioritize each other after God but before our children in order to stay committed. As your mom so often says, “it’s not how we fight, but how we make up”. She could not have been more right. We put our emotional (sometimes physical) intimacy as a priority in each other’s lives, but with that comes the challenge of everyone outside our home getting the illusion it’s easy for us. It’s not though, we still hurt each other’s feelings and feel differently and have to learn to accept the other’s feelings as real and authentic because we work differently on the inside. We still fight and argue on occasion just like every married couple that ever existed and ever will, but………. We come back together and seek each other’s heart and mind after the distress. Perfect? Never! But do our imperfections stop us from trying harder the next time? No on that note also. Accepting our imperfections does not mean giving up because we’re never going to be perfect, it means trying harder the next round(s). I love you and am thankful for you. Especially thankful for our small village that helps us with our children so we do not lose track of each other over the years. It’s been an amazing 12 years we have accomplished as of today. Happy Anniversary to you my dearest and most precious wife. I love you and may the next 12 go a little slower than the first 12. – Nathaniel


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