Setting the Foundation—PART THREE


Weather in literature, movies, and even T.V. always has a purpose or meaning greater than just being a simple function of the earth. One of my absolute favorite books called, How to Read Literature Like a Professor, by Thomas C. Foster, explains weather like this; “Weather is never just weather. It’s never just rain.” There is always something tied to weather, explaining its existence.

Marital weather (a good day is a “sunny day”, a bad day is a “stormy day”) has just as much depth and meaning because it is tied to our moods, creating a relationship atmosphere.

Consider this scenario:

Nathaniel comes home from work after another in a long string of extremely stressful days. He is mentally exhausted, cranky from constant phone calls with customers and on his last nerve, unable to put out one more fire. His mood is already low, depressed and depleted yet, if sparked he could burst out of his gray rain cloud like a lightning storm.  He is about to open the door to me, worn out from a day of raising active boys, homeschooling, cooking and cleaning all day. I don’t feel pretty and I don’t want to be touched for a while. He is about to walk into a swirl of activity; a hungry family hurriedly needing to get out of the house for evening activities.

Pause right here.

This is the point of either no return or of total acceptance. Freeze frame on Nathaniel just as he is about to open the door, hand on the knob, standing on the quiet side of chaos. Freeze frame on me and the kids just as I am stirring sauce for dinner and as the boys are mid-sprint down the hallway.

We both have a choice, right here in this precious second of frozen time. We are still in our own weather patterns, Nathaniel holding his stormy-cloudy day and I stuck in one of those bipolar intermittently rainy-sunny days.

Here in this moment before our weather patterns collide we can choose how to react with each other at first glance. We can choose to set a new weather pattern together. One that begins with intimate contact or we can choose to stay in our respective stormy day only to collide and create a hurricane!

Back to the paused moment, unfreeze us in your mind. Open the door and let Nathaniel walk into the kitchen. He could rain his bad mood all over us and I could swirl up a tornado of anger because he came in raring to go. Or, he could walk in, shed the storm cloud take a deep breath, walk over to give me a hug and kiss. And I could accept his gesture and hug and kiss him back.

In this moment we both have chosen to let go of our own storms so that we can connect with each other….


That connection starts to bind us together for the rest of the night. The more we stay connected through physical (big or small) acts of closeness, the more we are a stronger front together and we become more and more on the same page.  We, all of us…me, Nathaniel, you the reader, have the power to change the weather system with intentional intimate contact. Change is always accomplished one step at a time, no more, no less. Today, I encourage you to take that one step, change the weather pattern of your marriage with one act of intimacy. Choose to allow that one moment of intimate contact, a hug, a kiss, holding hands, sitting close together, to become a bridge for another act of intimate contact.

One moment at a time leads to more moments, and more moments bring couples together which always changes the relationship weather pattern


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