Where is your attention during intimate moments?

Are you mentally writing a To Do List, are you peeking with one eye open to watch T.V., are you numbing out so you don’t have to be engaged in the moment?

Is sex a positive experience or a negative experience?

Answer quickly…or slowly, but know in the silence of a pause and in the speed of a gut reaction there is depth in the answer.

Do you feel taken care of by your spouse physically and emotionally?

What is one without the other? Can intimacy go deeper without both, why or why not?

What are you willing to do to make your marriage better?

How often do you put your spouse first?

Not just in the bedroom…but anywhere, everywhere. When do you make your spouse’s thoughts, feelings, and needs more important than your own?

With a quick response, do you feel like you are having sex as frequently as you would like?

Why or why not? What do you feel is standing in your way of achieving your goal?

Are you a taskmaster parent, an old softy, an overbearing parent, a dictator, a helicopter mom, or a Disneyland dad?

Do you treat your spouse the same way you treat your children? How is that working out for you in the bedroom?

Do you allow your children to create distance between you and your spouse?

Are the children’s needs, concerns or fights becoming your arguments with your spouse?

Are you a united parental front or do you take the side of your child more often than not?

Do your children most often see the two of you united or divided? How about in the grocery store, on a phone call, at dinner time, or play time…are your children seeing you and your spouse more united or divided? If you are more divided outside the bedroom, notice how this division affects emotional and physical intimacy.

Are your ideas of foreplay not appreciated by your spouse? Why?

Do you feel courted by your spouse on a regular basis?

Or is that feeling reserved for special days only, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and so on?

How do you keep intimacy alive on a daily basis?

Sex not included.

Who is the most important person on the planet to you?

If that person is not your spouse, why?


Matthew 19:5-6

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.




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