Shiny Red Box

Shiny Red Box

When people hear about how we live our life together, we hear one of three things:

1.       “I wish there was a ‘buy now’ button here.  This is what I want my life to be like.”

2.       “I actually take notes.  I’m not in a relationship but this is what I want to find.”

3.       “Are you from Mars?  No one really lives like this.”

To the last I (Christina) offer you this question.

Do construction workers show up at a work site empty handed staring at a bare lot with their hands in their pockets wondering what to do?


They show up with blueprints, materials and tools. They are ready, prepared and willing to build.

While those with the avoidance perspective may not be in the same life situation we are in, there is still something valuable to learn from our streak. And why shouldn’t there be? We have learned a lot of things about ourselves, our relationship and God while participating in the streak.

First and foremost, God is the foundation for our house, our relationship. Our values, beliefs and morals build the walls and roof for our home. When our house was strong, not necessarily perfect, but strong in the faith of its foundation, then we received the gift of sexual intimacy. The gift was given to us with defined rules. It is to be nurtured and protected, wanted and worked for.

When we got married, God handed us this gift of intimacy. We started to lift the lid off the shiny red box of monogamy thinking we’ve got sex free of charge, pain and woe now until forever with each other. But we were greatly surprised as the lid was lifted. Inside we found a hammer and chisel, a spackle knife and glue, a few screwdrivers, nails and a bit of wood. Puzzled and unsure what to do with God’s gift we carefully placed the lid back on top and shelved the box. Happy, or so we thought, to keep our sexual encounters at a base level we never thought twice about getting the box down from the shelf. Until…

Until it was too late, or at least it could have been too late, to work on, work for and fight for the intimate relationship we wanted and thought we deserved, had we never lifted the lid again. This time was different; this time instead of lidding and shelving the box again we reached inside and lifted out each of His tools.

God gave His people married, monogamous sexual intimacy as a gift. He wants us to marvel in His present to us because it is for us. Sex was never meant to be a source of pain, even though that does happen. Sex under The Lord Almighty’s guidelines is meant to act as a great connector between spouses.

Christina’s Top Ten List of Tools Found in the Shiny Red Box!

Intimacy is not just about sex.

Intimacy is a choice.

I must get myself to a place where I can receive healthy, marital intimacy.

Intimacy has a lot to do with serving my spouse in a non-co-dependent way.

My husband does not view me as a play thing, he desires a connection with me.

A sexually intimate streak of any amount of days cannot happen without daily intimacies that are not sexual in nature.

In order to get I must first learn to give.

Daily sex does not fill the hole where true intimacy should be.

Intimacy is rooted deeply in connection and conversation, without these lust is disguised as intimacy.

My actions in my relationship affect my spouse, I do not live in a vacuum, despite the fact that I do not always want to affect someone else’s behaviors.

1Corinthians 7:5

“…Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

We live in such a “Me” centered world, living with a great lack of self-control to always say and do as we please with little accord for the other people in our life. Which direction will you choose in learning to be more intimate with your spouse? Forward, backward or neutral? I am choosing to move forward with God as my lead and my husband as my partner.


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