I, Christina, often get lost in the numbers and I cease to remember what night of the streak we are on. I knew last week was over 500, but I could not remember how far into 500 we were. Was is 583, 563, something with a three? Thankfully my adorable husband remembers such things. While the numbers are fun to know in the moment, mile markers if you will, I rarely retain the tally the next day. But 600 felt monumental to me and I purposefully set out to make Monday night awesome but also to remember it.
Why 600 versus 500 or 100? I don’t know, except that the number seems so weighty, full of the memories of our climb. Back around days 100 and 365 when we were pondering stopping our streak, 600 was no where in our sights. It wasn’t the next number to collect, it wasn’t anything back then. But looking back everything beyond 365 became part of our way of life, something we did as part of our natural, normal daily routine. We no longer set out to reach a goal to then decide what to do next, stop or continue. We kept going because we had become used to it. Used to making time for each other, only each other. We began to devour and hold high this blessed time together everyday amidst life’s chaos. What we had grown used to on the surface was sex, but on another level we had grown accustomed to and very fond of a deeply connected time for and with each other. We had grown used to intimacy.
The second definition on the word intimacy according to Dictionary.com is “A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person (or group).” This one is my favorite of the several definitions I found because it defines a marriage. With God at the helm and we humans following His map, our marriages will be close, familiar, affectionate, loving personal relationships. But this is a three part deal.
1. God must be placed first in our life and in our marriage. Before each other and before our children.
2. The leader of the relationship, the husband, must choose to actively follow God’s plan.
3. The wife must choose not only to follow God’s plan but must believe, cleave, and follow her husband supportively.
No easy task for sure, but the rewards are so worth getting off the “Me Train” and on to God’s train.
So, 1+2+3= 600? Right?
Maybe. Probably not. Every person, every relationship, every marriage is different. What is considered intimacy for one couple is not necessarily thought of as intimacy for another couple. Our 600 days in a row of sex is what makes sense for us, for how we relate to each other. Your 600 days in a row of intimacy can be just as intimate but look vastly different. Perhaps your “600” is consistently telling your spouse verbally, “I love you”. Or holding hands daily, a kiss, a hug, whatever really. Perhaps it is acts of service around the house for each other. The daily chore she hates, he could pick up. Or something he seems to never have time or patience to deal with, she could pick up. Because when boiled down intimacy is doing things for each other, even when it’s sex. If we each only cared about our individual orgasm 600 days in a row would get very tiring and would never have come to fruition.
So why do we keep on going?
Because serving each other physically grounds us as a couple. It makes us feel connected in a specific way that we are not connected to with anyone else.
What is your 600?